The Diagnosis- ADHD

My son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 10 years old. He was in the 4th grade. I suspected that something was wrong in 3rd grade, but he was still able to compensate for his learning disability. He also had an extraordinary teacher who was getting her masters in Special Education. She treated each child as an individual, and therefor, lead her class to a successful school year.

The proverbial you-know-what hit the fan in 4th grade. I believe it was divine intervention. The principal had mentioned to me at the end of 3rd grade that she thought my son might have ADHD. She suggested I get him tested. I knew nothing about this ADHD thing so I know nothing about what was tipping her off. He didn't appear to have any problems in school. His grades were fine. He was a normal boy.

4th grade was a disaster. His teacher was not there at the start of the year due to the death of her son. Obviously, this was an extreme situation, and I don't fault her for not being there! The substitute was a nice enough lady who did her job and things moved along until they decided to split the days/weeks. One thing an ADHD kid needs is continuity. Two teachers with two different styles and expectations was a recipe for disaster.

Not only was the teacher situation bad. The classrooms were open, meaning that there were no walls- only barriers. This meant that all the noise from the first grade rooms through the sixth grade rooms could be heard. ADHD kids don't need any distractions, and all that noise made it more difficult to focus.

The teacher situation, the open classrooms, and last but not least, private school. Private school does not believe that a round peg can go in a square hole. They want all their children to be within certain standards. Those standards include high test scores so they look good when they advertise for new students. They do not include anyone with any disability. Frankly, they don't have the resources to handle it anyway.

Matt began to forget his assignments, homework, parts of his uniform. These were all little things that earned him demerits and upset the teacher who was grieving for her dead son. Soon, the class realized the teacher was frustrated and if they blamed things on Matt, whether he did it or not, she would immediatly blame Matt.

I started talking with a friend of mine whose son was nearing graduation. He had ADHD. She had been through the ringer with him as far as meds, schools, teachers, friends...you name it. She had dealt with it all, and in the process became, as many parents do whose children suffer from various things, an expert out of necessity.

I became increasingly suspicious that my son had ADHD. I talked with another friend who worked for the local health department as a psychologist. She asked me a few questions and then gave me a copy of a questionairre they use in diagnosing ADHD. It was a quick and dirty one that would either lead to more testing or lead in another direction.

After we gave it back to her, it screamed that Matt had ADHD. Meanwhile I'm still fighting with the school, who is giving me nothing but grief, and definitely no help. It was a Christian school, which surprised and disturbed me. Where was the understanding for the child that might be different?

I took the diagnosis to the principal of the private school and she assured me, "that in all her years of teaching, she knew kids who had ADHD, and my son certainly did not." She gave me the run around.

Meanwhile, I was investigating getting Matt tested through the public school, which is done by school psychologist. It is a battery of tests that if done through a counselor or private practice office can often cost upwards of $900! These tests again screamed that my son had ADHD. They involve some surveys of teachers and testing on Matt of various kinds.

To make a long story short, I yanked my son out of private school mid-year because the principal and his teacher were being such jerks about everything. I enrolled him in public school who immediately began working with him in resource.

He had a lovely teacher named, Ms. Staley, who had a nice, calm manner, but was firm with her students. What amazed me was after paying for a supposed superior education, the private school curriculum was behind in math and grammar. Matt had some catching up to do there.

We started seeing a counselor as well regarding the ADHD. ADHD affects the entire family, and we needed to learn to manage it as a whole.

More about that later.

The important thing is: if you suspect your child has ADHD, have the school test him/her. It is free. You will either find out yes or no and can move from there. The worst thing is to suspect something isn't right and do nothing. There is so much that can be done to overcome so many things. I have friends whose children have had speech therapy as young as 3 through the public schools. There are occupational therapists to work with motor skill problems. Many school districts have amazing programs for children with autism. I know because I have seen what taking advantage of all that has done for my cousin's autistic son.

Finally, if you are dead set against educating your child in the public school system, they still have to provide the services to your child. It is up to you to get them to the services at their convenience, but they are still available and can be a lifesaver!