The Right Counselor

Part of dealing with ADHD is getting the right people lined up to help you along your journey to success. Finding the right counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist to assist with poor organizational skills, time management problems, forgettfulness, anger management, friends and self-esteem issues, to name a few of the known factors that afflict ADHD kids. Adults often have the same problems, but along the way, many have learned to compensate themselves for these. And I'm not writing about adults. I'm writing about my son!

There is an equilateral triangle that needs to be kept in balance in the treatment of ADHD. The doctor, the family, and the school/work are each of the sides. All of these need to work together as a team. If one part does not cooperate, the balance is shifted and an adjustment or change needs to be made. This is a team effort, people!

Back to the counselor. As luck would have it, I was talking to a friend of mine last night who happens to have a diagnosed child with ADHD and a suspected child. The suspected ADHD kid is getting to the age where he is really showing signs. She knows what to look for because she already has a daughter at home with it.

My friend, J, was telling me that she had taken the plunge to get her daughter, S, a counselor to assist in getting her daughter successful outcomes at school, home, and socially. I really could go on about each of these particular areas, but for right now, I'm going to focus on the counselor. All the rest will be covered in due time.

For the past several years, J and I have been talking about our issues with our ADHD kids. She's learned alot from me because I've had more experience. My son is older than her daughter so I've walked this walk a little longer! This is one reason she decided to find a counselor.

On their first visit, J asked about the "rebound affect". The psychologist she chose had no idea what she was talking about. She'd never heard of the fact that kids who come off their meds like Concerta and Ritalin, have about an hour where it's best not to take them to Walmart, go out to dinner, or start homework.

If your child suffers from ADHD, you know what I'm talking about. I really don't know about other medications because I've not had experience with them. So I'm going to discuss what I know. But if you feel this applies to your med situation, now you know exactly what it is.

It sounds worse than it is if youare not familiar with ADHD. I'm sure the anti-med community would jump all over this. I'm not discussing the benefits of medications today, however. I plan to chat about that another time.

During the rebound effect, if you are at Walmart, for example, you may experience a melt-down in the aisle. This situation is one you want to avoid, of course. The same would be true about starting homework or trying to keep them seated and behaved in a controlled environment like a restaurant.

Your whole goal is to help boost their self-esteem and lower your family stress level by doing what will give all of you a successful outcome. This by no means infers pandering to your child's every whim. It means not going to Walmart when their meds are wearing off.

They are taking their medication in order to calm their brain and rid it of all the noise that goes on. If the meds are wearing off, their attention ability is diminished and their agitation level is higher. All of us with ADHD kids know they can be easily excited. So here you are at Walmart with a cart full of groceries and your kid wants something in the frozen food aisle. You don't want to get it on this shopping trip, and so you say, "No."

If your child is medicated, he may buck you a bit as any normal child would do. You do have to remember to separate normal child/teen behaviour from ADHD behavior. But if your child is in the throws of "rebound", he will buck you by making a scene that involves argueing. As you know, the kid will escalate themselves. All you have to do is stand there and their temper takes off (hence, the need for anger management).

Now you have an aisle full of people looking at you and judging you as a bad parent because they have no idea your kid has ADHD. And even if they did, some folks just believe that is due to bad parenting anyway. You now have to call upon all that delicious counseling advice to de-escalate your child and exit the store before someone with free advice decides to intervene taking the situation to a whole other level.

I know you have this experience. It might not have been in Walmart. It occurred somewhere, and you know exactly what I am talking about. So my sincere advice is to learn to manage this time of day so that everyone is happy. It's great family management. It's great for the positive home life, and it helps with your child's self esteem.

Now you see why it is so important for J's phsychologist to know what the "rebound affect" is. How can she help with it, if hse hasn't heard of it, and what else hasn't she heard of?

The minute she said this to me, I said to her, "You need to see someone else."

J agreed. She's smart!

Keep looking for counselors, psychologists or psychiatrists until you find one that really knows what they are talking about and meshes well with your child. If you don't, what is the point?

Thanks J for chatting with me last night and giving me the subject of my blog today! An important topic and the added benefit of talking about the "rebound affect".