Church And the ADHD Kid

Church can be a challenge depending on your environment (the service) and your outlook. I never understood growing up when my Dad would say to me, "Can't I just have one hour of peace to give thanks to God?"
One hour of peace? What does that mean? How is he getting peace in here? Why does he need peace? You need peace to thank God?
Of course, as an adult, I completely understand. Some weeks that hour in church with God is the only peace you get all week! And if that is the case, I definitely want to spend time in thanks for that hour!
Now throw an ADHD kid in the mix. How peaceful is that going to be? It depends on your outlook.
If you are regimented and want him to sit and be perfect, you are in one for one miserable church experience. It's not going to happen. All kids fidget in church. Your ADHD kid is going to fidget at the very least.
I grew up Catholic. That has to be the absolute most boring hour in a kid's life every Sunday. I tried to put my ADHD kid in that environment. Hard pew. Repetetive service. Boring priest (most of the ones we had). Funeral durges for music, at least that's how it sounded to me.
Being an alter boy was a good thing for Matt. It gave him something to do. His robes, when they were long enough could hide some of that fidgeting. The priest would direct them on the alter, and it gave him something to do.
However, after a blow-out with the Catholic school and the principal, I left the Catholic Church. That is a whole other story, but I can't see Jesus supporting pedophelia, currently making headlines across the nation. My son was not molested. LEt me make that very clear. He was treated unkindly because of his ADHD in the school. It's supposed to be a Christian environment, yet they wanted him out because he wasn't meeting their definition of perfection. It was affecting their test scores. The priest supported this, which in my mind is completely nuts. Even worse for the priest who should be a Christian example to the parrish to act in such a non-Christian manner. It's a long story, let's just leave it at that.
Wow, how my spiritual life has changed and that of my children. We went to a non-denominational Christian church. Rock band. Contemporary Christian music. Non-liturgical services. Preaching on the bible. Bible believing. Fundamental.
Anyway, ADHD kid can listen to the great music. ADHD kid get variety at service and appreciates it. ADHD kid woke up and is listening because the preacher is actually saying something.
Now, Matt is not always perfect. He likes to go to the bathroom during the service. It's kind of rude and the preacher gets a little upset if people walk out when he is teaching, but Matt does have ADHD. Even if I make him use the bathroom before he leaves home, he still tries to go at church. Sometimes I let him. Sometimes not.
I do let him draw. I give him the weekly newsletter and a pen. He goes to town. He behaves. I have my hour of peace to give thanks. I feel so much better, Matt isn't getting yelled at after church for misbehaving. A simple thing like paper and pen!
He'll read the bible during the service.
He is old enough where I do expect him to sit up. And no talking. Although, that is hard with his impulsivity. I do let him make comments or ask questions, but I make sure he is whispering. He has to keep his cell phone off during the service. I think he'll live.
He's also been going to a youth group with his best friend. They play softball. The youth leader is very relaxed, and they have fun.
The Catholic youth group doesn't seem very fun from what I hear. Too many rules and expectations. Catholic behavior.
Why didn't I leave earlier? Matt would have really had a great church experience!
Imagine Christmas eve service in the Catholic Church where we were. It was supposed to be the kids' service. It was packed to the gills and the priest would get excited to have such a big audience. He would go on and on and on during his homily about this and that. These kids are trying to behave because Santa is coming, and they know he is watching. But it's hard. It's boring. It's crowded. It's hot. They're hungry. Overstimulated. And on and on goes the priest. For an hour and a half the whole mass lasts.
Now, to our current church. Fabulous entertainment by the singers. Kind of like a show. Some preaching with humor. Candles passed out and lit by everyone. Communion passed out and shared. Lots going on. Lots of stimulation, but it's all involving the congregation. Matt can last. The other kids can last. Know why? Because the pastor knows they are excited. The musical director knows they are excited. They celebrate THE REASON FOR THE SEASON, but that hour or hour and a half passes by so quickly.
What I'm trying to say I guess is that if you are miserable, don't leave church. Find another one. You need that spritual guidance and divine love, especially if your child has ADHD! Let them draw. Let them eat cheerios and have a juice box when they are young. Although, the church we go to now does have a childrens' church for the elementary age kids that better meets their needs. Bring some books. Let them read. Crayons. Coloring books. The seed is being planted my fellow Christians. The ADHD child can hear everything that is going on. It is being absorbed. Even if they are doodling or eating or drinking, they are not missing a thing that is going on around them.
Why be miserable? Life is too short. Everyone can be happy at church. Let some of your rules go and accomodate the ADHD. You will all benefit!